The Devil card from the Tarot is chasing me in my daily readings but is this a bad thing? Join me as I explore my shadow self.
The Devil is chasing me
Lately, The Devil card keeps popping up in my daily three card tarot spread and of course, I’m finding it a little disconcerting. It would be far easier for me to throw the cards back into my bag and reshuffle, but then what would I be learning?
Starting with the 6th of December, he is going nowhere as he reappears AGAIN in my present situation for the second day on the run.
He is well and truly in my face demanding attention!
What the HELL is going on?
Firstly, I’m glad that I keep a journal of my daily card spreads because it is helping me with figuring it out. Also, I love writing about them on my BlueSky account @ReikiLove. So, please be sure to follow me.
Shadow work with the Tarot is an illuminating form of self-therapy, especially when challenging cards like this one appear. Therefore, I will now attempt to break this all down in date order.
Breaking it down with The Devil
On the 27th of November, he appeared in my future influences and I saw this at the time as a warning about my anxiety.
Life is quite challenging lately and I can ill afford my ego to be out of control dictating my life path. In my past, I have associated The Devil with my anxiety and ego self. I’ve been struggling with my business because November has been so quiet. I’m asking the cards daily, to show me what I need to know about myself so that I can make changes.
On the 29th of November, he showed up in my past influences and therefore, I thought I had it sussed!
This is my favourite Devil card of all my decks, which is from the Tarot of Witches. I wrote on BlueSky the following: –
The Devil has been circling me. Tuesday, it was in my future influences and yesterday my anxiety was high. I felt like I was on the verge of crying. Business is hard. I nourished my soul with a meditation. Just goes to show what can happen if you don’t have a self care routine.
As a result, I did feel a lot better about myself and able to go more with the flow. To do otherwise simply creates chaos. Now, can you imagine my despair for it to reappear in my present situation and feelings, two days on the run?
Present situation and feelings
On Thursday (5th of December), The Devil rises and is challenging me to figure out why he isn’t vanishing.
Do you believe in synchronicity?
What demons are still hiding within me that are affecting my life today?
I was led to the question above thanks to a heartfelt conversation with a friend on the 5th of December. Talk about timing!
He began by telling me about his cards of the day and his healing journey following the abuse of his father.
I suddently felt rage and anger bubbling up inside of me as it took me back to my own childhood and abuse. I recognised these negative feelings and quickly tried dismissing them. This is something that I am very good at. However, later on, I began my own tarot reading for the day and yes, this is when The Devil appears in my present situation.
Well, obviously, I still have issues that I thought I had faced and diminished. Clearly not!
The timing of having the above conversation couldn’t have been more apt.
How does my abusive past hold me back in the here and now?
Is it easier for me to run away and therefore I will not fail?
As a child, my mother made me and my siblings run. We were always on the run incase he found us, he being my mother’s abusive husband.
It is time to face my Devil?
Of course those questions above are the ones that I began asking myself. I really was under the impression that I had moved away from any ill feeling surrounding my childhood. In this process, I have learned to forgive my mother and take accountability for my own actions while navigating life. As for ‘him‘, I’ve let any ill feeling go and hopefully you know, this doesn’t mean that I have to forgive him.
Therefore, I just couldn’t understand why he’s appearing two days on the run. That anger and rage rising within me is a clear clue that something is brewing. Something that I am clearly not dealing with.
Time to dig deeper
Beginning with the other cards surrounding The Devil, there is lots of change forecasted. This goes as far as the spreads before and after his appearance. Also, I have already concluded that if I allow my past to influence my future, I will not be able to navigate any upcoming challenges.
Summarising my readings
Without going into situations in detail, the pain, anger, and hurt that I am feeling, is not a direct result of my childhood. The trauma unfortunately belongs to someone very close to me and my heart aches for her, and her mother. Clearly, I have so much empathy for the pain they endured. Their abuse has ended, but I often wonder about the results and impact it will have on them. Again, I must remember that I am doing a lot of catastrophising as well. However, the guilt I feel for not being able to see what was happening and stopping it is haunting me. One thing is for sure though. If I had known, I would have stopped it!
Without a doubt, I have my work to do here as these feelings can erupt like Mount Etna. Imagine if I was assisting someone with a reading or Reiki and these feelings arise during the session? Clearly, this will affect the session for both me and my client.
This is me facing my inner demons. It is my time to create and live the best life for me and my loved ones. Banish the fear with lots of love, and more love on top.
We cannot control The Devil in others
Unfortunately, there are those monsters out there who are manipulating and evil. They disguise themselves so very well, incredibly well. You cannot control their actions however, you can control the way you react. If something is off, challenge it!
If your gut is telling you that something isn’t right, be careful about accepting what they say. The pain I endure is accepting that all was fine and that my fears stem from my own abuse. At the time it was plausable unfortunately, my intuition was right.
Thankfully, I did set the ball rolling though as they are free today. I now need to free myself so that The Devil can go and do one!
No matter sometimes how I think I have faced my demons, they resurface in differing ways.
Tarot assists me with understanding myself and the choices I make. I grow stronger as a result every day and some spreads take days, if not weeks to finally reveal their true meaning.
