Battling imposter syndrome is the subject of my latest journal and how I overcame it. Thankfully, my tarot reading confirms I am winning!

Yesterday in my journal, I wrote the following: –

“All I have to do today is create my twenty-two-question assessment and I will have completed all material for my professional certificate in tarot reading. This is the end of a creative phase, a journey that has most definitely had its up and downs.”

I’ve just won my battle with imposter syndrome, and it teaches me how much stronger I become when challenging my insecurities. Yes, I still have them but is this a weakness?

Challenging Imposter Syndrome

Well, in order to work with my weaknesses, I must know what they are. Therefore, I’m grateful to have faced them and successfully challenge them.

A true leader, oh here I go again, should I be referring to myself as a true leader?

A true leader, will admit their weaknesses.  No one is perfect right? Now there’s a thought!

Currently, as I type, I’m watching a squirrel that’s visiting me for its daily feed of nuts, and it puts such a smile on my face. So too, do the birds singing and the blossoms of early spring. Currently, I’m enjoying my walks in the park, admiring the cherry blossom in full bloom. There are also lots of green and white buds on the many branches set against a beautiful blue sky.

Within my garden, the Camellia flowers are a hot pink and in full bloom. These feelings are most certainly the key to life. I’m very much grateful to be where I am and enjoying all of this. I’ve worked long and hard on myself since 2017 and I continue to do so. I’m also wonderfully grateful to be following my calling of assisting others with their journeys of deep, inner healing.

Procrastination – A Sign of Imposter Syndrome

I digress!

This is something that I have found myself doing a lot lately but in a negative sense. Imposter syndrome allows me to procrastinate and listen to the incessant negative inner chatter.

My Tarot Card Reading

These cards are confirming my recent situation and conversation that I had the other day with a Reiki Degree Two student.

She had expectations of healing following her second attunement. Of course, this led to a conversation about a continual journey of healing and who knows where it ends? My answer at this moment in time is that I’m still healing but I grow much stronger within and wiser that ultimately brings me feelings of balance, harmony and joy. Also, we should be free of expectation and be able to go with the flow.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It is good to have expectations but it’s not good if we are attaching ourselves to the negative aspect of not meeting them. We need to be flexible so that we can evolve and face any situation that may arise on our path.

Talking with my student, I told her about my recent case of imposter syndrome.

Imposter Syndrome and Reiki

I went through something very similar when creating my Reiki material for each of the levels.

Who am I to think that I can teach Reiki?

Why should anyone want you to teach them Reiki?

Perhaps you should leave it to the experts and do something else?

Yet, it was as if my higher self was challenging each such negative thought reminding me how irrational I am being. My inner calling never fails me. I will never know until I try but if my intention is pure, and it is borne of love and passion, I cannot fail.

Indeed, creating a professional certificate in tarot reading is my biggest challenge to date. To gain a certificate, a course must be at least 40 hours with face-to -face tuition. In addition, there must be five written case studies and a twenty-question assessment paper.

Who am I to think that I can create a course like this that should more than likely be taught in a college?

Well, I’ve leaned from my past and I will not know until I give it a go. I 100% percent believe in myself, and this very recent bout of imposter syndrome teaches me that my healing journey is a continual process. My Reiki student told me how refreshing it is to hear that I too struggle. We are only human.

So funnily enough, I have an expectation of teaching my new tarot course. Seems bizarre after what I wrote about letting go.

This expectation fires my inner strength to not quit. I need to visualise an end goal that provides me with focus, which prevents me from throwing in the towel however, there is a reality about my expectation.

My expectation is most certainly not just a wish! Neither will it remain one.

Now, my course material is submitted, and I await their feedback and hopefully accreditation will be given first time however, I am open to what comes next. As a result, I am successfully de-attaching and taking time out to do what nurtures my soul.

Writing in my journal puts a smile on my face as this is where I love documenting my own journey of inner healing.

Summarising Imposter Syndrome with the Tarot

The Hierophant in my present situation and feelings demonstrates that belief within me that carries me forward. Also, I think the Universe sets me challenges so that I can reflect and grow my wisdom.

The World and the Ten of Cups are two lovely cards that describe the influences of my past. Indeed, the joy I get from teaching Reiki to clients and students is so strong. I know that I am following my calling and that my journey of trauma, anxiety, and imposter syndrome, comes full circle. My intuition tells me that our journey of inner healing ends when we become one with the Universe, and when we become the guide.

The Eight of Pentacles in my future influences shows me that I will continue moving forward with what fulfils me. Again, one of my most profound thoughts right now is how I arrived here, being self-employed and loving life. The cycle of life will never end and although I don’t know if I will ever be healed in this lifetime, it is not an issue!

I now go with the flow!