I’m feeling emotional as I write this post about how living in fear can stop you from being happy.
The sweetest old man in his 70s walked into my shop and I could feel his sadness. Eventually, he approached me and I asked him if he was looking for anything in particular. He spoke softly and told me how he’s suffering from depression, and how worried he is about his health.
Living in fear
It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last time that I speak to someone who is living in fear. I see it most of the time when speaking to clients. I suppose I recognise it easily as I too was once living in fear. It resulted in my suffering of anxiety and depression.
Whatever your fear is, you need to face it head-on and debunk it. Unfortunately, there is no easy way of doing this. Sometimes the fear of facing it is more daunting than the fear itself however, the rewards for doing so are immense.
My steps to debunking fear
Firstly, acknowledge your fear.
What is it that’s scaring you to the point of depression or anxiety?
In the case of the lovely old man, he’s fearing that he has poor health. He’s putting off speaking to a doctor in case his worst fear comes true. His avoidance of challenging his fear is simply overwhelming him to the point of depression and anxiety.
Secondly, debunk your fear. What is fact and what is irrational?
Thirdly, those fears that are factual need to be addressed. Ask yourself what can I do to make things better? This third step starts to begin replacing fear with optimism.
Is your fear irrational?
His fear of a terminal illness is irrational as he’s living in the land of ‘what if‘.
If he has symptoms that are worrying him, he can address them and get better instead of delaying treatment. Of course, delaying treatment is not a good idea as he could suffer unnecessary complications.
The more he delays seeing the doctor, the more of life he’s missing out on. Seize the day, live for today!
The fact is that a conversation with a doctor will take away his fear and give him back control of his life. It’s time for him to stop procrastinating and putting things off. Like I told him, speak to your doctor and find out the truth of the matter.
Challenging your fear and debunking it is difficult when you’re feeling overwhelmed, but it is a must!
Stop living in fear and regain control
Hopefully with my words of advice and a little cleansing of his aura, he will have the strength to speak to his doctor.
As I previously stated, I was allowing fear to control my life to the point of suffering from anxiety and depression. I wasn’t happy with my health and safety career and fear kept me there. I was too afraid to change careers and I wasn’t managing my stress.
From early childhood society conditions us. We are led to believe that you can’t change career when you’re in your 40’s. If you want to, then you must be a failure or desperate.
In the case of the gentleman, we are led to believe that most people don’t survive beyond 70, so it’s only a matter of time.
It’s simply not true and if you think about it logically, there are many examples that prove it’s false.
I know for a fact that if I hadn’t challenged and debunked my fear, I wouldn’t be happy.
Summary
When you suppress your fears, all you are doing is burying them deep within so they take root and grow.
They keep on growing like a powerful weed. The roots below the surface are unseen and you can liken them to your negative emotions. The more they grow, the more intense your feelings of overwhelm become. If left to fester, you can end up with feelings of impending doom and unfortunately, overtime you forget what the original fear was.
One of my greatest moments so far in my life was the day I decided to quit my career and become self-employed. However, I didn’t just quit out of the blue!
Be SMART
I regained control of my life by being SMART with my goals. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Targets).
To regain control of your life, put together an action plan that is SMART. For further information on this, please read The Emperor and Manifestation.
If you would like to speak to me in person about my wellbeing services and how I can help you, please get in touch.
