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Overcoming Defeat


Inspired by the tarot of the day card being the 5 of Swords, today’s topic is about overcoming defeat. I’ve provided my tips below on how to move beyond the feeling of defeat, and how to bring back feelings of positivity, drive, and motivation.

Help with overcoming defeat
Tarot card of the day was the 5 of Swords – DEFEAT

Your dreams haven’t changed, but your plans have!

Life is about how we deal with set backs that most of the time we have no control over. We cannot change or control outside influences, but we can control how we react to them, and knowing this is key. It’s your choice to dwell in the pain, or to dust yourself off and take what you’ve learned, and go forward.

First of all, having a SMART action plan is highly beneficial. If you don’t have one already, read my post The Emperor and Manifestation to find out more.

Secondly, review your action plan to incorporate any learning lessons learned. If by setting yourself small goals that are quick wins, you grow your confidence. Subsequently, it’s easier to BELIEVE that YOU ARE WORTHY of obtaining your goals when you’re ticking them off.

Writing yourself a daily to do list is another quick win. See yourself at the end of the day having completed your tasks. More importantly, examine how completing your tasks will make you feel, because this is an important aspect of achieving your dreams. Like attracts like, therefore if you feel great, you will attract great things.

Let it go and instead, go with the flow

Stop trying to control everything around you while trying to achieve perfection and simply go with the flow of life.

This is something that is extremely difficult to do, as I well know. The only thing I can advise you, is to trust me in that by doing so, more doors will open.

Like I said earlier, the only thing we can control in life is ourselves and how we react to situations. Trying to reach perfection by trying to prevent everything from going wrong, is a negative aspect of your personality. It’s more than likely driven by your fear and will be a drain of your positive energy.

Learning to let go and go with the flow is a positive behaviour to adopt that will put you in an excellent mindset. When you’re relaxed, you can deal with any set backs that come your way. More importantly, you can creatively think of possible solutions.

Allow me to put this into perspective for you. Currently, my dreams are halted with the onset of COVID-19, or are they?

I quit my full time job prior to the pandemic so that I can follow my dreams. I’m manifesting having my own premises and becoming a professional holistic therapist. If COVID-19 hadn’t hit, I’d have my own premises right now, but that’s been stopped and it’s beyond my control.

Rather than become defeated, I have my faith in the Universe. I understand that whatever reasons there are right now, it’s simply not meant to be. However, with my SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timescale), action plan, I’m in control and more importantly, I remain positive.

It’s time to overcome defeat

It’s too easy to focus on the negative feelings when defeat hits.

Feelings of lack and sometimes shame can cloud our judgement and we begin to demotivate ourselves. Momentum builds the longer we stay in this feeling of negativity, so it’s essential that we focus on what we have achieved so far, and the personal successes we have gained. Reflecting on both good and bad points helps you to grow!

Grab yourself a pen and some paper, and write down the emotions you felt when overcoming defeat in your past.

How did this achievement make you feel and what did you personally gain from it?

These are the feelings and emotions you are going to experience again. FEEL them and be inspired!

You’ve done it once and you can do it again!

If you have already adopted a SMART action plan, it’s time to review it and make changes. Adopting such a plan also helps you to feel your successes, feelings of accomplishment and joy when marking it as completed.

I will conclude with the following, overcoming defeat is easier to accomplish if you have a plan to work to. This can be your anchor.

Adopt a self-care attitude and daily practice

Self-care is important if you want to succeed. If YOU don’t nurture and look after your mind, body and soul, who will?

If you put your self-care in the hands of others, what happens when they are no longer around?

Adopt a daily self-care routine that incorporates time out for you to enjoy something that you love to do, and that makes you feel great.

This could be something like being creative, singing along to your favourite songs, exercising, meditating, coffee with friends, a healthy lunch or even a mindful walk. The list is endless and it’s no good me or someone else telling you what to do. Ask yourself, ‘what makes me feel good?

Get yourself out there and start enjoying yourself.

By adopting your own self-care routine, you will give your mind a break resulting in a better sustained lifestyle. Overcoming challenges will be easier therefore reducing those moments of feeling defeat. It’s time to pamper your mind, body and soul with your very own spa treatment to build your self-love, and inner worth.

Practicing gratitude to help you feel worthy

If you know me well enough by now, you would have heard me talking about the benefits of practicing gratitude on a daily basis. I highly recommend you incorporating it into your self-care routine on a daily basis.

Practicing gratitude isn’t just a hippy lifestyle thing. It’s so much more than that and understanding the benefits of what you will gain is enough of an incentive to start.

I do mine first thing in the morning while drinking my coffee as it sets me up for the day however, you may decide to do yours in the evening. It’s up to you when you do it as it has to feel right.

I write about everything that made me feel positive or put a smile on my face from the previous 24hours.

When I’m writing, I automatically know and feel grateful for everything that made me feel great. Fundamentally, it’s important that you write how it makes you feel, because don’t forget, when manifesting your desires, like attracts like. If you feel positive, you will attract positivity. For example, my gratitude journal includes examples like…

  • My granddaughter rang me and it put a huge smile on my face and made me feel happy
  • What a lovely gesture for Babs to drop off some shopping for us, which was unexpected. This makes me feel supported and loved and I’m grateful to have her in my life
  • The rays of sunlight on the house opposite looked beautiful as I took time out to admire it. It reminded me how beautiful life is.

Pick yourself up and dust yourself off

Hopefully you’re now catching my drift?

Maintaining this on a daily basis will help you to remain positive while keeping your faith in the Universe and humanity. It will also help you to keep ‘vibing‘ high as you realise what’s good in your life.

If you’re manifesting, you will see the signs of your plans or goals coming together. This aspect in itself will help you to go with the flow rather than try and control every eventuality.

Kick start your day with revitalising your body and mind with a soothing shower or bath. Ensure that it’s full of invigorating scents and appropriate mood lighting.

To do this successfully, immerse yourself fully in the present moment by using your senses of touch, sight, smell and sound. Feel the hot water cleansing your body and washing away any negativity energies such as doubt or fear. Smell the luxurious scents from your body wash and shampoo, and empower your self-worth. See the steam rise as it evaporates away negative energies and listen to the sound of water as it purifies your mind.

Overcoming defeat

If negativity is surrounding you, try to remove your presence from it the best that you can. Consider changing your environment and don’t get involved in judgement or gossip. These are negative behaviours that lower your vibe.

Inspire yourself with people who have achieved what you want to achieve. Imagine yourself stepping into their shoes and feeling what it’s like to be them and to live your dream. Remember that you attract what you feel. Read an auto-biography of theirs.

If you’re finding social media or the daily news is becoming too distracting, it’s time to stop being affected by it. It’s all about balance as we do need to know what’s happing in the world, but you can limit your time spent being influenced by it.

Procrastinating won’t help you with overcoming defeat

If you find that you’re putting off what needs to be done, challenge yourself to find out what’s really stopping you. A good example to use here is, doing the scroll of doom before starting that task that needs to be completed.

The scroll of doom is my phrase for scrolling through the latest social media news feed instead of getting on with it.

We usually procrastinate when we allow our fears and insecurities to surface, but instead, we need to face them. This is a path leading to defeat.

Is it a lack of self belief that stops you from achieving your dreams?

It’s time to examine your self-beliefs and challenge those that are negative.

How and why do you hold onto them, and what do you get out of sustaining them?

These questions are vital in overcoming feelings of defeat.

A good example that I once held and firmly believed to be true, is that smoking will help me keep the weight off. Therefore, I don’t need to give up smoking just yet. Such thinking is negative and leads to feelings of defeat before I’ve even started. Overcoming such behaviour is necessary to inspire me forward. I could replace smoking with exercise and in case you’re wondering, I’ve not smoked now for just over two years.

This task alone takes time and a lot of soul searching, especially when we’re being honest with yourself. This is what a lot of us refer to as shadow work.

Affirmations to assist with overcoming defeat

Focus on your objectives with a crystal and a powerful affirmation.

Having an affirmation and an object such as a crystal to focus on is a powerful tool to inspire you on a daily basis. It will help you to achieve your dreams and not let defeat overpower you. Thinking and writing out your affirmation is a task that you need to invest your time in.

An affirmation is a true statement that reflects how you feel about something. For example, a previous affirmation of mine was, ‘I trust in the Universe and I go with the flow‘!

Repeating it every day without fail empowered me. I placed it in a prominent position, on my monitor where I would see it and read it, every day.

Having this affirmation has helped me to remain positive and go with the flow of life. It really helped when my chance of having my own working premises fell through due to COVID.

Finally, as for crystals, I choose my favourite one by using my intuition and sitting with it for a while. I imagine projecting my affirmation and dreams deep into the crystal for it to help me. Then by holding this crystal and placing it where I will see it, I’m reminded of my affirmation. Finally, I also enjoy holding it and reflecting on how far I’ve come, and what I can achieve. I feel inspired!


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